Let’s go way back, for a moment, to the 1970s when America experienced the horror of the Middle East oil embargo. The ones who fared the best back then were owners of small cars. Neither the oil companies nor the automakers responded in any relevant way, not even when people traded in their gas guzzlers for the much smaller and fuel efficient cars manufactured by foreign companies. American automakers stood firm in their stupid decision to make big, big crappy cars and gas guzzling trucks. Then they complained that their sales were down.

We saw Toyota, a Japanese company, become the biggest seller in the United States. Shame on American car makers, shame. They started the industry and then they ran it right into the ground. They are incompetent.

It doesn’t matter how much money is given to them by the government, they’ll waste it through bad decision making. Starting in the 1970s is when these companies should have retooled their plants to create cars that were highly efficient and offered exceptional safety. Ford Motors is the company that manufacturers perhaps the world’s most unsafe car. Give them more money, why?

The other problem with a government bailout is that our government itself is incompetent. Even the first money they gave them did not have any strings attached. There is no accountability. Just like the giant insurance company AIG which got a government bailout and then obscenely spent the money on entertainment for its officers and exorbitant corporate pay, what’s to prevent the automakers from abusing the money the same way? And if the people in charge have screwed up so royally before, why would the government think that they will now make good decisions and be able to implement them.

I have no confidence in these companies’ abilities to do anything right. The sad thing is, as always, it’s the average citizen who will pay for corporate and government mistakes. — filed 11/13/08

We want all you greedy pig CEOs to pay yourselves tens of millions of dollars each and every year, not because you did a good job and actually deserve that money (hell, no one deserves that obscene amount of money, not even Hollywood mega-stars), but because you’re able to get away with it. You do, after all, run the show.

We know there is absolutely no oversight of those payouts and golden parachutes. We know that because we’re the ones who did away with any important regulations that might prevent it. We did that because we’re just as greedy as you and we want to thank you for all the special interest money you’ve thrown our way over the years. You’ve kept us in office so that we can make laws that screw over 99.9% of the population, so that we can pay ourselves lots of money and also get away with it, so that we can buy ourselves luxurious houses and never have to worry about losing our mortgages and because, well, we just like playing Gods.

Actually, we think you’re the ones really playing Gods; that would make us your minions. But, we’re rich minions, so that will do nicely. What are you doing for dinner tonight? Want to come over and plan another bailout? Oh, I forgot, we did that already: a couple of car companies, a wooden arrow company (what was that for again? We can’t remember; we just know it was something we had to do so the American people wouldn’t continue to suffer from financial ruin.)

Love is never having to say you’re sorry. We just love you guys. And we know you love us too. originally filed Oct. 23, 2008