Town Crier

PRESIDENT OBAMA: I supported him based on his promises of change.  Now, having heard that he’s appointed former Monsanto executives/lobbyists to key positions at the FDA and other government agencies that are supposed to be protecting the American public, I know now that nothing in this country will change for the better – no matter WHO is in office.  Too many greedy corporate pigs are entrenched within our government.

PRESIDENT BUSH:  USAViews has been offline for a long time and missed the opportunity to call George Bush the biggest loser in the history of the United States. His parents should be ashamed as much as the American people have been outraged.

PERMANENT HAIR COLOR: They call it permanent but it’s not. They even have selling points on the boxes that say “fade resistant”; ‘Color stays longer’, etc. It’s either permanent or it isn’t. In my experience, “permanent” hair color lasts about as long as semi-permanent hair color – and that’s two weeks. Perhaps it lasts longer if you never wash your hair, but then they would have to call it: “Permanent hair color for dirty skanks.”

AWARD SHOW GOODY BAGS: The people who can most afford to purchase the exorbitantly priced products inside award show goody bags are given the items for free so they can serve as advertisers to the people who can least afford to purchase them.

CELLPHONES: To all the brain dead monkeys walking around annoying the shit out of others, rudely disturbing the peace and causing accidents because of their self-important cellphone use, I say this: You’re not important; you have nothing to say and no one else is interested in hearing the garbage spewed from your stupid ass mouth; wake up and shut the fuck up.

WEARING SANDALS: Why do people who don’t know how to take care of their toenails insist on wearing sandals so that the rest of us have to look at their hideous monstrosities? And why do some people wear socks with their sandals? I mean, what’s the point?

ELIAN GONZALEZ/The Cuban Kid:
I can’t believe the amount of money some in the US Government (the courts) are spending on this kid by keeping him in the US and not sending him home to his father in Cuba. He’s become a political football and you know how much Americans love their football. It’s insane. You know why these liberal idiots (and disaffected Cubans living in the US) are playing games with this kid? It’s to show Cuba and the rest of the world how much this country and they hate Fidel Castro. Send the kid home for christsakes. His father wants him.

OUTLAWS & POLITICIANS:
“What is an outlaw? A person that breaks the law? There’s lots of laws, too many. The world is full of laws and the jails are full of people. And the people are full of songs. Every time a man gets disgusted with trying to live decent in the rich man’s system, and jumps out with a couple of forty fives on his hips to try to shoot his way through – the outlaw is beat. Beat to start with.
Why do people set down and write up great songs and ballads about their outlaws? (And never about governors, mayors or police chiefs?)
Here’s why. An outlaw does it wrong. The outlaw tries to whip the world down to his own size and then he finds out that the world is a whole lot bigger than him. So, by yourself, even with a couple of Tommy guns, you’re beat before the cards are dealt. But … an outlaw does one big thing. What? It’s easy.
He tries.
Tries his best.
Dies for what he believes in. Goes down shooting.
Politicians don’t try. They shoot the bull and the hot air, but they don’t try their best to make the world better .. and people just don’t waste any pencil lead on the politicians unless it’s to write up a song showing how bad they was compared to the outlaw.” — Signed A Desperate Man, Woody Guthrie —
“Yes, as through this world I’ve wandered,
I’ve seen lots of funny men,
Some will rob you with a six-gun
And some with a fountain pen. (from “Pretty Boyd Floyd” – Woody Guthrie)

CLINTON ON SCHOOL SHOOTINGS: “We do know that we must do more to reach out to our children and teach them to express their anger and resolve their conflicts with WORDS not WEAPONS.” (re: Littleton, CO) Spoken two days after Clinton requests of Congress $6-billion more in firepower to “talk” with Milosevic.

THE WHOLE WORLD AS 100 PEOPLE: If we could shrink the earth’s population to a village of 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look like this:
57 Asians 21 Europeans 14 from the Western Hemisphere (north and south) 8 Africans
52 would be female; 48 would be male
70 would be nonwhite; 30 white
70 would be non-Christian; 30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual; 11 homosexual
59% of the entire world’s wealth would be in the hands of only 6 people and all 6 would be citizens of the United States
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be dying from the normal range of diseases; 1 would be just coming into life
Only 1 would have a college education
Only 1 would own a computer
Puts it into perspective doesn’t it.? — (Supplied by Russ Tornabene, a former vice president of NBC; source: Saturday Evening Post cover by Norman Rockwell).

WAR FUNDING: Even as Clinton has called upon Congress to commit $6-billion more for the Yugoslav war efforts, I have not read or heard any cogent discussion of the amount of resources the Untied States is forced to spend to protect someone else’s backyard. Why can’t the other countries comprising NATO meet the financial burden in direct proportion to their proximity to the threat? Maybe the war should be financed by the large corporations who have a direct stake in the outcome … McDonald’s? How is that the U.S. government can magically cough up this kind of money (and repeatedly so) while domestic issues remain unresolved: social security, health care and insurance, homelessness, education? What are the oil-rich Islamic nations doing for their brethren and how much?

RIGHT TO DIE: The right to die issue is as confused as the right to life vs pro choice issue – but at least it’s less volatile and only those who want to die, do – unlike the abortion doctors whose fates are decided for them.

WAR & PEACE:
“For our policeman we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us. Their power cannot be revoked. At the first signs of violence they act automatically against the aggressors. The penalty for provoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is we live in peace without arms or armies, secure in the knowledge that we are free from aggression and war, free to pursue more profitable enterprises. Now we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works.” (1951, “The Day The Earth Stood Still”)

WAR & PUBLIC RELATIONS: Has anyone noticed that Gen.Wesley Clark was scheduled to appear on no less than four different Sunday news shows – April 11 (Meet the Press, This Week with Sam Donaldson, Face the Nation and Late Edition on CNN)? Doesn’t this man have more important things to do like maybe conducting the military action in Yugoslavia. I think he should leave the P.R. to the ones who do it best – the bullshitting politicians – and tend to more pressing matters.

NATIONAL HEALTH CARE: There will never be a national health care system in this country for the same reason that bureaucracies exist.

BUREAUCRACY: If bureaucracies weren’t created simply to kill people off through inaction, neglect, delay and complete stupidity, then someone would have fixed them long ago.

PRINCIPLES: Too few people are willing to stand up for principles, particularly those in authority. The problem, then, is that government doesn’t recognize principles and therefore will force you to suffer for them just the same.

IMPEACHMENT: In 1974, a young female attorney helped draw up the rules under which Richard M. Nixon would be tried by the Congress for impeachment. “Impeachment,” she wrote, “does not have to be for criminal offenses, but only for a ‘course of conduct’ that, while not particularly criminal, might be of such a nature that it destroys trust, discourages allegiance, and demands action by the Congress.” She wrote that “The Office of the President is such that it calls for a higher level of conduct than expected from the average citizen in the United States.” This young female attorney who helped write the standard under which Presidents are to be judged by the House of Representatives has a unique perspective about the present situation in the White House. You see, that female attorney who said that an unethical “course of conduct” could overthrow a President is now the First Lady, Hillary Rodman Clinton. – Source: LA Times, Sept 8, 1998

KIDS: Why I don’t care about supporting schools or children. These are the same kids who will grow up one day, run our businesses and then fire everyone over the age of 30. OR, they’ll be the unethical Wall Street scumbags we all know and hate.  So, to hell with them!

CLINTON: Why President Clinton’s (or any other lawmakers’) sexual improprieties matter: these are the same people who try to legislate morality on the rest of us, the same people who everyday conceive of new laws that affect our lives from cradle to grave. They damn well better be paradigms of virtue. Then when they’re caught doing something illegal or unsavory, what do they say: “Gee, I’m only human”? Yeah, well try telling that to the cop who pulled you over for not wearing a seat belt in the privacy of your own car! Or how about trying it on the IRS. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

POLITICIANS: “Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.” – Nikita Khrushchev

BREAKING LAWS: When our “lawmakers” break the same laws that they have imposed on everyone else, what message is that sending us: that they’re just human, or that they ought not to be in the position of making any more laws. I think the latter.

CHANGING LANES: How come whenever I change car lanes or lines at the bank or market, the lane or line I just vacated suddenly moves faster?

BORROWING MONEY: “Interest” in the financial sense of the term is what you pay for the privilege of borrowing money. So what are “Points”? It’s the same thing. So if banks and mortgage lenders charge both, isn’t that usery and isn’t that illegal or at least highly immoral? Yet the industry condones it. Give them a big black star.

BANKS & IRS: Banks are rapists. Thieves of your money and your souls. They even sell you to the government.

SUGAR: What kind of farce is the so-called Health Food industry pulling on us? Sugar. It’s plain and simple. It’s been known as sugar for many years now. So, how come health food products are now popping in that euphemism “dehydrated cane juice”. It’s sugar! Do they really think we’re all too stupid to notice?

TAXES: The government has created one mega culture of people that live off the convoluted tax system, from the super mega IRS to your neighborhood accountant. That’s why there will never be a simplified flat tax system in this country. Besides, what else what congress do, if it were not for sitting around thinking of new ways to tax us over and over and over gain?

BANK CHARGES: Add to the demented fact file: My bank has just charged me a fee for making a deposit to my business account. Can you believe it? Not only do they charge you fees for taking money out, but now they’re charging fees for putting money in. Who controls these moronic institutions anyway and why aren’t they doing something about this? Banks will steal you blind if you’re not careful. It’s time for an uprising!

GUNS: “A gun is a tool, Marian, no better, no worse than any other tool, an ax, a shovel, or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it, remember that.” (from the movie “Shane”, screenplay by A. B. Guthrie, Jr.)

ADVERTISING: I love companies that create great commercials for their products. It’s too bad most of their products aren’t equally great.

PAY EQUITY: Do government officials really work harder or better than you or me that they need to get paid so far above the national average (not to mention receiving lovely little perks on the side). If we all were able to set our own salaries we’d all be a whole lot richer. Besides, isn’t there a bit of a conflict of interest in having the “lawmakers” set their own salaries?

IRS: In what drug-induced state was the entire population of the United States when it elected to allow its “lawmakers” and the Internal Revenue Service to make totally arbitrary rules that affect their financial health? And, how does the population now stop these mad dogs from chewing them up alive and spitting out their remains to the vultures?

MINIMUM WAGE: If our “lawmakers” were all to be paid minimum wage … boy, you’d see that little sucker rise real fast.

OUR GOVERNMENT: US Government: Of the People, By the People, for the People. Something called Democracy. Doesn’t government really exist by the government, for the government? After all, it hasn’t provided us with any free cars, or first class airline tickets, or free haircuts. No $600 toilet seats in our houses or lavish furniture for our offices.

MISREPRESENTATION:
When “lawmakers” break the promises upon which they were elected, who are they now representing?

STATE DINNERS: Who pays for all those state dinners in Washington? We do! So how come we’re never invited? Furthermore, who gave them permission to have all those dinners anyway and how come they never eat “Hamburger Helper”?

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